Several elderley parishioners were asked to what they attributed their longevity.

"And why do you think God has permitted you to reach the venerable age of 92?" one good old lady was asked.

Without hesitation she responded; "To test the patience of all who have to do with me!"

A priest in a small parish in Scotland was collecting subscriptions for the erection of a fence around the local cemetery. Everyone gave something with the exception of McTavish. Later the priest asked why he refused.

"We'el," replied McTavish, "I don't see any use in a fence around a cemetery. Those that are in there can't get oot - and them what's oot sure don't want to get in."